This is so meaningful to me that I am re-posting it (from 10/8/2010)
by George Douglas Watson, 1845-1924
If God has called you to be really like Jesus, He will draw you to a life of crucifixion and humility, and put upon you such demands of obedience, that you will not be able to follow other people, or measure yourself by other Christians, and in many ways He will seem to let other good people do things which He will not let you do.
Other Christians and ministers who seem very religious
and useful may push themselves, pull wires, and work schemes to carry out their
plans, but you cannot do it; and if you attempt it, you will meet with such
failure and rebuke from the Lord as to make you sorely penitent.
Others may boast of themselves, of their work, of their
success, of their writings, but the Holy Spirit will not allow you to do any
such thing, and if you begin it, He will lead you into some deep mortification
that will make you despise yourself and all your good works.
Others may be allowed to succeed in making money, or may
have a legacy left to them, but it is likely God will keep you poor, because He
wants you to have something far better than gold, namely, a helpless dependence
on Him, that He may have the privilege of supplying your needs day by day out
of an unseen treasury.
The Lord may let others be honored and put forward, and
keep you hidden in obscurity, because He wants you to produce some choice,
fragrant fruit for His coming glory, which can only be produced in the shade.
He may let others be great, but keep you small. He may let others do a work for
Him and get the credit of it, but He will make you work and toil on without
knowing how much you are doing; and then to make your work still more precious,
He may let others get the credit for the work which you have done, and thus
make your reward ten times greater when Jesus comes.
The Holy Spirit will put a strict watch over you, with a
jealous love, and will rebuke you for little words and feelings, or for wasting
your time, which other Christians never seem distressed over. So make up your
mind that God is an infinite Sovereign, and has a right to do as He pleases
with His own.
He may not explain to you a thousand things which puzzle
your reason in His dealings with you. But if you absolutely sell yourself to be
His ... slave, He will wrap you up in a jealous love, and bestow upon you many
blessings which come only to those who are in the inner circle.
Settle it forever, then, that you are to deal directly
with the Holy Spirit, and that He is to have the privilege of tying your
tongue, or chaining your hand, or closing your eyes, in ways that He does not
seem to use with others. Now when you are so possessed with the living God that
you are, in your secret heart, pleased and delighted over this peculiar,
personal, private, jealous guardianship and management of the Holy Spirit over
your life, you will have found the vestibule of Heaven.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I am hoping that this may help those who find my choices and decisions to be inexplicable
... to better understand my motivations ~
ROYAL HEIR
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