I cannot bring myself to do the normal planning, purchasing, or pushing ahead into what has always been my life on earth. My 'to do' list seems far-fetched and receding into the background of consciousness. Even my health issues (which have absolutely nothing to do with what I am discussing here) cannot maintain a hold over my thoughts. Sometimes I feel completely well - like today, for instance. The planning for an event or appointment even a week away seems like a dream that will never come to fruition.
It's nearly impossible to pay a bill, to balance a bank account. Money? I won't be needing it. And it seems so immaterial, so pointless to deal with. Making a grocery list seems a waste of time. Eating is deliberate, only a necessary act because I realize I'm still in the physical body; it's not because I'm really hungry. I must forcibly pull myself into my 'life' because my increasingly short attention span gravitates elsewhere. I find it difficult to 'hold on' to a conversation about clothes, trips, lawn care, and the mundane topics of the cares of this world.
I can't bring myself to worry about ISIS, ebola or any of the news, expected false flags, financial collapse, volcanism, weather, earthquakes, tragedies expected. Even Planet-X / Nibiru etal. And I have started to skip the Dark Side's crazed articles and deluded nonsense, which has become even more foolish, tedious and repetitious. I sense they are treading water - killing time, getting careless. They, too, are ready and eager (to commit mayhem), being held back only by the Restrainer.
My focus is continually turned toward the skies. Toward the blessed hope. Toward the expectation of eternal life. Toward King Jesus, the Lord of Lords, and His appearing. I listen to Wintley Phipps sing "Until Then" and get blessed numerous times each day. I find my hands reaching up in praise and joy to the Lord. Often. Very often.
I recognize that this sounds like radical and increasingly strange behavior, but that's what Christians have always looked like! I didn't know it would be like this. I'm slowly losing touch with this reality - this matrix - and a new and different one is ever so subtly descending on me. I am approaching the end of my time on earth. What if I'm wrong? I'm not. It is happening. It is real. I'm not saying I'll be gone within 24 hours ... although I can hope!
What if the Lord isn't coming back for a few years? I don't know. I guess I'll tread water. I only know I can't go backward. I'm done with this world, and the Lord is in charge of me. He'll take care of me, as He always has. I'm in His Presence all day, every day. I'm a familiar face, and present at the foot of the Throne often. I'm safe. That one thing I know. My time here in the flesh is coming to an end. The finish line is in sight. My departure to higher realms is nigh. By the grace of God I have kept the faith!
I'm so at peace. I'm so full of joy and anticipation. I know His voice. I'll recognize Him.
I'm ready.
For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth
there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the
righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto
all them also that love his appearing.
2 Timothy 4:6-8