In the commandments that God gave the Israelites through Moses, the list of man's duties to his fellow men begins with his duties at home in regard to his parents. This was regarded as one of the most sacred obligations by the Israelites. Respect for parents and for old age was traditional among the Israelites. This respect received the support of divine command. "Honour your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you" (Ex.20:12). Well-being and prosperity are the blessings and reward for honouring our parents.
In subsequent legislation, this commandment was applied very strictly. It was the responsibility of parents to instruct their children in the faith of the covenant (Deut.6:7), so that the faith could be passed on from one generation to another. But instruction in the faith required an attitude of honour and respect from those who were being instructed. The commandment serves as a reminder of the need for harmonious family life and the responsibility of both parents and children for spiritual growth.
The Word of God enjoins us to respect the elderly. "You shall rise before the gray headed and honour the presence of an old man..." (Lev.19:32). "Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father..." (1Tim.5:1). This was strictly practised in our midst, till recently. But such things are considered old fashioned now by the younger generation. We forsook age-old practices as well as Biblical instructions and mistook westernization as civilisation. It is never too late to get back to the Bible.
A curse was pronounced on him that dishonoured or despised his parents (Deut.27:16). 'Cursing his father' was considered as a capital offence. Capital punishment was executed only in extreme cases. This shows the divine attitude toward the offence. He that cursed his father or mother was to be put to death (Ex.21:17; Lev.20:9; Pro.20:20). It is considered as a grievous violation of the 5th commandment.
Even a son who wilfully and stubbornly disobeyed his parents was to be brought before the elders of his city and stoned to death (Deut.21:18-21). Obstinate rebellion is considered akin to repudiation of divine grace. The parents are required to bring the charge before the leaders appointed to arbitrate at the gate.
Much of the book of Proverbs is an inspired commentary on this commandment. "Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old" (Pro.23:22). Jesus approved this commandment by His own subjection to His earthly parents (Lk.2:51). He reaffirmed this commandment and rebuked the scribes and Pharisees for circumventing it with their traditions (Mk.7:1-13). The law concerning duty to parents was plain, but the Jews had devised a means of evading it, under the cloak of piety. They tried to circumvent the commandment by putting in its place a religious requirement that drew a lot of attention to themselves. For them, it was not a matter of pleasing God, but of positioning themselves as the central focus and exhibiting their piety for all to see. They were prepared to sacrifice their parents to their own pious selfishness. A son could pledge his money to be paid into the temple treasury. This could be done without actual payment. He could even do it in a fit of anger, and could then tell his old parents, in their time of need, that he could offer them no help since his money was dedicated under oath. In so doing, they substituted human legalism for the law of God.
Paul rephrased it and called it as the first commandment with promise. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right" (Eph.6:1-4). "Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord" (Col.3:20-21). A person is obligated to honour his parents as he does God, and to assume responsibility for them as he does for his fellowmen, "that you may live long on the earth."
Children are to obey their parents for several reasons: (i) it is right; (ii) it is commanded; (iii) it brings blessings; (iv) it is well pleasing to the Lord. The wise King Solomon says, "Children's children are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their father" (Pro.17:6). The father who honours the Lord will have little trouble winning the love and respect of his children. In the lives of nations and individuals, the destruction of the home marks the beginning of the end. The Word of God reminds us, "In the last days, men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money... disobedient to parents..." (2 Tim.3:2).
A father's duties are displayed, both negatively and positively. There is a warning against irritating children and thus leading them to exasperation. An injunction to train them in disciplinary education follows. Paul warns fathers to refrain from provoking their children with undue demands. He exhorts that "the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience" (Tit.2:2).
Home discipline is not a matter of rigid enforcement, but of relating the parent-child relationship to Christ. In an age when parental authority is being challenged, the Christian home should be an example of healthy discipline. Paul recognised that this is possible only if fathers avoid provocation. He emphasises that harshness should find no place in a Christian household. Children must be treated like people, and not things. Fathers are to discipline (nurture) children and counsel (admonish) them in the Lord.
People who pay heed to God have no other choice. They cannot rebel and go against their parents. Nor can they throw into the balance all the mistakes their parents may have made while bringing them up. Parents do not make mistakes intentionally, but because of shortcomings in their youth and many other circumstances. This is also not about the younger generation knowing better and being right, but about mutual understanding.
The commandment to honour one's parents involves the gratitude and respect we have for them for all the trouble that they willingly and joyfully took upon themselves in bringing us to life. In most cases, they have even become models for us so that we would like to emulate them.
People who honour the elderly honour God. Those who fail to honour them rebel against God's will.
Royal Heir